SEPTEMBER 12, 1997 GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE

SPEAK OUT

In appreciation of Diana

by Bob Roehr

I'm neither an Anglophile nor particularly enamored of celebrity, yet the death of Diana, Princess of Wales struck me with a force I had not anticipated. I think it is because to me she seemed an embodiment of possibility. Not quite the fairytale "happily ever after," but a more human mix of noble intentions in muddling through the ups and downs of life.

Diana showed that those who are blessed with much have an obligation to do much.

If I had but one word to described what I most admired about her it would be balance. It is admittedly an odd choice, surely not the first to come to the lips of many, myself included. But after trying out other words, balance is the one that remains on my tongue. For it evokes the framework, the dynamic relationship between all of those other words ascribed to her.

It is the balance of a bicycle always in danger of falling to one side or the other, which gains stability only by moving forward. Diana did move forward and she encouraged the rest of us to do likewise.

She wasn't perfect, didn't do everything right-her failed marriage and disastrous affairs the most obvious examples—but her heart always seemed in the right place. Particularly when it came to raising her sons,

whom she showered with love and refused to cloister in a world of privilege. She once said, "I want them to have an understanding of people's emotions, of people's insecurities, of people's distress, of their hopes and dreams."

Diana asserted her need for a personal life; she would not sacrifice it for her title. But she did more than merely accept her public responsibilities, she embraced them as she did lepers, people with AIDS, those whose bodies have been ripped by land mines. She did not merely lend her name or her person for an appearance, instead she learned about a problem, choosing with head and heart, and involved herself for an extended period of time. The commitment was genuine, not superficial.

She had gay friends, not because they were gay or despite the fact they were gay but simply because they were people worthy of friendship. The very commonness of the experience is what made it so extraordinary. She did not preach non-discrimination, or make a show of tolerance, she simply lived an example of equality.

Diana showed that those who are blessed with much have an obligation to do much. She showed that the responsibilities of giving back lay within each of us regardless of age or station. It is not a matter of money but of a personal commitment, one individual to another. She was a messenger heard by a younger generation and, perhaps uniquely, across generations.

Part of Diana's special gift was balance— of young and old, of personal and private, of obligation and life. We are better for her having walked among us, and poorer in her death.

May she rest in peace.

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